Therapy and Ethics: A few thoughts on ICE
After another round of murder, with an arm of our government participating in gaslighting its citizens, I feel compelled to reflect—both to slow myself down and as a practice of showing up.
When we are moving toward a trauma response, it can be grounding to name facts. I’ll start there.
Facts:
American citizens have been murdered
Children have been taken
Arms of the administration are lying to us
You can believe what you see
It can also help to name feelings:
I feel scared
I feel confused
I feel helpless
I feel angry
There is so much right now. So many layers of activation—anger, protection, shutdown. I get it. It might feel like too much because it is too much. You are not alone. As I often say to my clients: this belongs, too.
After a hard day with friends at school that involved- his least favorite- what the school calls ‘conversations,’ my 8-year-old son said to me today: “Every action has a reason, no matter if it’s good or bad.” I told him: “That's so true my dude. What does that mean for you?” He fumbled his way toward noticing his impact and wondering why he “can’t control feelings since they make all these things happen sometimes…” I gave him the short answer: he’s eight. The long answer: he’s human. The human answer: we all have that trouble sometimes. We can keep trying our best—and when we know better, we get the chance to do things differently.
I am praying that we not only know better, but collectively do different.
What doing different looks like will be unique to each of us—shaped by our nervous systems, our social locations, our access to safety. I’ll start with some truths.
Things are happening. We are not neutral. Our energy, our mirror neurons, our breath—these are collaborative. So the question becomes: how will we show up?
As therapists, we are taught to slow down and strive for objectivity. We are trained to make friends with our biases and histories so we don’t impose them on others—and when neutrality isn’t possible, we are taught to name our social locations to mitigate their impact. The truth is: no one is neutral.
Beyond neutrality, there is the question of ethics.
Like most healing professions, we are held to an ethical standard of not knowingly doing harm. This shows up in our required trainings, ongoing supervision and consultation, and our responsibility to reflect, repair, and demonstrate accountability. The therapeutic relationship itself is meant to be a corrective experience—a container of safety, attachment, and nervous-system regulation.
I’m going to say this plainly: you cannot be an ethical therapist and support ICE.
If neutrality does not exist—as my son so clearly reminded me—then our actions matter.
When minorities are targeted, that is harm.
When identities are erased, that is harm.
When children are taken, that is harm.
When people are murdered, that is harm.
I can hold space—and do—for the truth that humans make mistakes and that we are not our worst actions. I also cannot collude, minimize, or say that the things happening on a national level are okay. Two things can be true: we may all need forgiveness and redemption, and harm on this scale is happening and is not okay. It’s just not.
To claim objectivity here—to minimize, rationalize, or look away—is to collude. That is not “do no harm.” It is dishonest and it is not accountable.
To my fellow humans: I see you. I feel you. I am with you.
If your heart is heavy, I’m holding that alongside mine. If you feel activated, angry, anxious, or shut down—I get it. Your nervous system is responding appropriately to threat and lack of felt safety.
If you’re feeling any of this, you belong. Your biology is not getting it wrong. If you feel vigilant, if you’re doomscrolling—it makes sense. Your nervous system is trying to protect you, to mobilize, to find community, to search for resonance in service of safety.
I feel that too - it belongs. We belong.
In belonging, we witness ourselves without forcing anything to change. We acknowledge what is true without collapsing or fleeing. We stop chasing our tails or curling into the corner—or sometimes, we learn to offer ourselves companionship there too.
Then we can begin to titrate. We can begin to allow a moment of a different type of presence. A moment of here-and-now, through the senses and through our Self.
Slow down and notice:
What do you hear?
What do you see?
Can you name three colors in the room?
Ground where you can. Connect. Do the small thing that feels like humanity. Text a friend. Email a senator. Protest in a safe way for you. Kiss your babies. Reach out.
If you are curious about how my mental health therapy approach can support you (or that of a loved one), you can book a cost-free, 15-minute Consultation with me!
I practice & provide all clinical therapy services exclusively at The Buddha's Medicine.
Jamie Van Auken, MA, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Associate, E-RYT 500
providing nervous system-informed, neurodiversity-affirming therapy at The Buddha's Medicine in Portland, Oregon. She specializes in
Path With Heart Therapy represents Jamie's therapeutic philosophy: meeting you exactly where you are with compassion, honoring your unique nervous system, and supporting you in finding your own path toward healing and wholeness.
This content represents Jamie Van Auken's therapeutic philosophy and professional perspective. Individual experiences and therapeutic approaches vary. What resonates with one person may not resonate with another.
